#wow this post is ancient as fuck too

[weebsinstash]

Hello! I don’t know if you do this but I was wondering what your thoughts were for a Yandere Lucifer Morningstar from Hazbin Hotel? I’m having trouble writing a good representation of him and would like some advice.

Honestly I'm gonna humble myself and say that it took reading someone else's post to make me like, REALLY notice the nuances of Lucifer's character

This post right here literally made me rewatch his scenes and go "oh wow he IS like DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED"

He doesn't remember Charlie told him where she is, or what she's doing, and he can barely follow a conversation despite clearly trying to pay attention. He also just seems kind of scattered, and um, HE LITERALLY MAKES A JOKE ABOUT DYING FROM FALLING OFF THE HOTEL BALCONY like dude is making jokes about death in front of his fucking daughter, like my dudes, I think this guy is BARELY holding himself together

He clearly loves loves LOVES Charlie but he doesn't really know how to properly articulate himself and I have a feeling there's a lot he's concealing from her, and another big question is, is his depression from being cast out of Heaven, or from something to do with his missing wife, or a combination of both? Either way this man is clearly dealing with like, really bad issues. And Charlie also mentioned he wasn't around a whole lot when she was younger, so... did he have depression back then too?

So, that all said, I feel like a yandere Lucifer would almost be, potentially invigorated by his darling? Given a new lease on life? He may not be 100% his old self again but, you get him to like, 65, maybe 70% on a good day. You give him another reason to get out of bed in the morning, or afternoon, or evening or, whenever he can drag his depressed ass out of bed

Given what we currently know, I feel like a romantic yandere Lucifer would pretend to only be platonic and do his best to poorly conceal his feelings because of his whole... "can't ask his missing wife if it's ok for you to be their third" ordeal, the man still wears his wedding ring, and a platonic yandere Lucifer basically adopts you like another kid, because uh, I mean for one he apparently canonically missed a lot of Charlie's childhood, and he's also an ancient fallen angel, so he's got that age advantage on you no matter how old you are. I mean what are a few decades when he's literally thousands upon thousands upon thousands--you get the idea

Yandere Lucifer would want to stay close to you, helping watch over you, maaaaaybe being overly paranoid about you randomly disappearing and going missing For Very Obvious Reasons, and in the process he winds up being unintentionally overbearing. I mean, he did it in irritation, but he basically showed up at Charlie's hotel immediately saying it was a dump and all of HER FRIENDS were 'a bunch of losers'. He never completely pulls his punches when there's something he's displeased with, even if it has something to do with someone he loves, so his darling would get much of the same treatment. "Ohhhhh, you uh, you wanted to move across the city? That's, um, definitely a fun idea! BuuuuuUuuut, what IF, instead of doing that--", like, he tries to playfully tug you in 'the right direction' until you make him put his foot down

Hmmm... what would him losing his cool look like... well, we've already seen that he doesn't mind throwing hands and WILL KILL, but will stop if he's asked to or there's a good reason. With you, though, you're not typically going to be there to stop him from offing any rivals or bad influences, so I imagine he'd be kinda casual about it, actually! He already thinks pretty lowly of Sinners, so say he finds out you've been ditching him and Charlie to go out drinking with strangers, making new friends, maybe having a few one night stands? Yeah, some of those people definitely aren't calling you back, and Lucifer doesn't really see a problem with it. These people are kind of the worst and really don't deserve you, anyways! If anything he's helping clean up Hell for you and his daughter and keeping you safe :)

Losing his cool with YOU... I think would involve him using his powers to finally confine you, maybe even going demon mode to intimidate you into submission in a very dad-esque "now you listen HERE" kind of way. We don't really know the scope and scale of his powers but I can picture him at least being, obviously much stronger than he looks, and transforming to fly you "back home" where he puts you in your room where no one can reach you without his explicit permission (and you also can't leave~)

One second you're just drunk and jokingly defying him, teasing him, maybe even picking him up and swinging him around because you're bigger than him, to you he's just a silly little guy! Meanwhile this Grown Ass Man Who Is Also The Actual Devil is getting more than just a little frustrated you basically view him as a wacky little cartoon more than a grown man, one who has had sex and has had two wives and sired a child. You're just teasing him and stumbling around drunk when he's trying to get you to your hotel room to get to bed to sleep, like you're clearly not taking him seriously, maybe even playfully putting your hands on him (TOTALLY not riling him up in 'fun' ways) and he finally just huffs and snaps his fingers and, you're suddenly magic'd to bed! You're laying there blinking confused and he's tucking you in and chuckling that "you're such a handful!" before leaving you to sleep and somehow INSTANTLY knowing when you're up.

You ARE in his house, after all...

Not to be gross but uh..... I'm not saying "yandere Lucifer who has the power to still get a Sinner pregnant if he wanted to and you wind up fooling around with him and you're waking up with his little apple symbol on your lower tummy as one of those like hentai womb tattoos to show you're pregnant" but uhhhhhhhhhhyeah that's what I'm saying, and whether it was accidentally or intentionally, he's keeping it, and thus, keeping YOU

I just feel like he'd be very goofy and awkward and bad at hiding his feelings and being very clearly overprotective and jealous in ways everyone else but you manages to pick up on (god Alastor would have some MATERIAL) and, in a romantic/sexual setting he eventually just loses his patience with you not seeing him as a man and just gets... progressively more forward. You pop back into the Hotel after a night out and Lucifer's already hammered at the bar with Husk, stumbling up to you, hanging off of you, slurring and embarrassing himself, "You'reeeee SO pretty... like SO pretty.... do you wanna have *BELCH* you wanna fuck? Cause I LOVE to fuck, like when I FUCKED my wife to make my DAUGHTER, my wife and daughter that I have, 'cuz im a DAD, 'cuz I'm a MAN!" and you're just giggling and ruffling his hair, "You're so weird, dude ^^" and walking away while Lucifer internally screams, wondering just how DIRECT with you he's going to have to be

meanwhile Charlie is totally cool with all of this and sees this as a weird double whammy of Curing Dad's Depression + new family member and friend hurray! and she's totally actively either shipping you with her dad or aiding and abetting him in his weird attempts to absorb you into the Morningstar family

[platoapproved]

Two things from continuing to read TVA, bitterness and Marius hating ahead, if you don't wanna see that honestly why are you even on my blog:

Honestly I don't care at all about authorial intent but the way this is written, how Armand narrates his early days as a fledgling, is fucking haunting to me. It's so utterly casual and passive, with just that one little interjection of "this was put to the test". Oh? Who was doing the putting? What was the test? Was the test perhaps Marius starving you to see how many days it would take for you to be too weak to get up, Armand? Was that maybe it? Oh but Marius did it to help him, of course. To teach him his exact limits, for the future! How benevolent. Someone get him a World's Best Maker mug.

____

Idc maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see but the "What I mean is, I didn't have contempt for him" reads as protesting too much. Like... it's giving "it's not that I found Marius tedious, just ancient Roman law and his obsession with it and also literally all the things he said and believed".

MORE IMPORTANTLY, though, the ideas in question here are Marius droning on about how the world is getting more just and how wonderful the contemporary world is. Love him telling all that to an enslaved child - WHO HE OWNS - and bought legally from a brothel! Wow, I wonder why Armand might not have a lot of faith in the law or in government institutions! It's almost like those institutions failed him in a profound way!

But no, Armand probably feels that contempt because he was 'born in a dark and savage land'. Y I K E S. Listen... to anyone reading this overlong post who isn't reading the books I can't emphasize to you how much this is Marius's whole thing. He talks about the ~civilization of the West so often. It's honestly nonstop. He's RADIOACTIVELY Eurocentric and if they stay true to the character it's going to be 100x worse in the show because of Armand's changed background.

[henrysglock]

High Existence and ZeroSpace: The First Shadow and NINA May Be Massive, Immersive Drug Trips

The blurb in last Friday's video from TFS sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. I found a lot of sites quoting The Alchemist about the universe conspiring to give you what you truly want (which is similar and it's probably what I was thinking of when this blurb registered as familiar), but I couldn't find this exact quote:

Well...not at first, anyway. I decided to stick every word I could make out here ^ into my search bar...and I found where the blurb comes from:

This blog post is quite literally the only source I could find for it, and the whole damn thing is directly lifted.

Right off the bat, the site fucking jump-scared me:

And it doesn't end there. Let's dive in, because this rabbit hole is a trip unto itself...no MDMA​ ​required.

1. The Fucking Website...#1 (HighExistence.com)

High Existence is a sort of drug-induced-spiritual-trip centered self-help site.

It's got blog posts and podcasts and all that jazz. Here are some of the highlights:

Wow! That was...a lot. A lot of words from the word show, too:

Wholeness, heroes, ancient aliens, prisons of politeness, and the fucking Shire, too, I guess. Why not?

(An Aside: I've included the VR in here too because of the sheer similarities between Henry's experience with the Shadow in VR, El's experience in NINA, and The First Shadow in general.)

Like fuck it, why not keep going, these posts date back to at least 2017:

And don't let me start in on that Creel boy and Faust...

[Jason voice] "[Eddie] made a deal with the devil and now he has his powers!" (Also we get it, one of them is neurotic and the other is psychotic. I've been saying this since like...forever)

Of course, all that insanity aside, the Russian base arc has just...an insane amount of ST4 and TFS stuff packed into it in general:

(And this isn't even all of it. I know others [cough] Stav Heroesbyler [cough] have covered it even more...but bro it is THERE)

But most importantly for the NINA arc:

Three things: Dialogue doubling (there's the one I showed, plus a) Robin yelling "Wipeout!" at Steve which has the pipeline -> "Wipeout!" at Rink-O-Mania -> 002-005 bullying El in a very similar manner and b) Steve's "that's amazing" line about the water fountain -> "This is amazing!" not only from Alice irt the Creel house but also from Mike irt Will's painting on their way to save El from NINA. Again, these are just a few of MANY instances), makeup doubling with the bloodshot eyes, and my beloved: set/prop doubling.

I love that beautiful framing on the nearly-identical square clocks. I have so much to say about that clock, but specifically:

The clocks being set 9 minutes apart, which happens to be the exact length of time from the end of Vecna's voiceover in 4.07 to the start of the fight sequence in 4.07 (aka the length of One's frozen-clock monologue).

Not only that, but the clock isn't even right. It says it's 3:55, but it's definitely not 3:55 AM (see: movie theater scene) but it's also not 3:55 PM:

(And why do we have a clock in an elevator anyway? That's the real question. That thang only exists to deliver subtext, baby! It exists to connect the two scenes further!)

Anyway, as you all likely noticed, this site mostly deals in psychedelics, stimulants, and empathogens.

link

Hell, you could even pull One's bit on the ecosystem into it, since he's describing connections between beings that are being disturbed/destroyed by humanity.

Anyway, the site tends to center specifically on DMT and MDMA...so let's talk about those:

MDMA & DMT An aside: Interesting to me that psychosis here can be counteracted with sedatives. Makes me wonder if whatever happened in 1979 could have been halted if they'd just tranq'd One. Hm.

First off: Did I read that right? Piggy-backing? Damn, son. 4.09, The Piggyback, is pictured in that paragraph. So is Brenner's candy bit with the children -> "candy flipping" vs LSD use in Brenner's lab.

Second: Ah, how nice. Intravenous/injectable. Just like how El is constantly being shot up with...something...to enter NINA.

Now, nearly all psychedelics can induce psychosis, but especially so if they're combined with other psychoactive substances and/or if the user has a history of psychosis (either themselves or in their family).

However, MDMA specifically has been posited as a treatment for PTSD and retrograde/traumagenic amnesia:

link Like...wow. Okay, I guess!

tl;dr: One seems to have been tripping fucking balls during the monologue. Literally every fucking version of him. El likely is as well. Funny how that works. Was any of that real? [smash cut to the way blood pours down the walls and the dead children dance around in the VR version of NINA] And either way, Henry in TFS isn't far behind with his hallucinogenic moments.

The connection? Whatever the hell is going on in Hawkins Labs...and symptoms of drug use.

I was not expecting to get this much out of a single rabbit hole. But...that's life with this show, isn't it? And this is only Part 1.

2. The Fucking Website...#2 (Futurism.com)

The guy who made that original post that TFS lifted the blurb from (Jordan Lejuwaan) runs a couple different websites. The most interesting one is Futurism, which is basically an online version of the Weekly Watcher:

It won't let me filter by date, but it seems to have been founded in 2017, stemming from an infographic subreddit. (Now, it says it's a trustworthy news source, and maybe it is, but... Do your own assessment of that. I'm not your mother, yknow?)

Jordan Lejuwaan was also involved in something far more interesting irt Stranger Things...

3. Zero Space

Jordan co-founded an immersive, interactive theater experience called ZeroSpace back in 2018. As we all know, TFS was just in the beginning phase of its creation around this time.

So...This was like a brick to the skull:

"Alice in Wonderland" (don't get me started: rabbit fuckery, DRUGS!!!!!, clocks/being later, Alice Creel, Fringe connections (Through The Looking Glass and What Walter Found There being the episode about the pocket universe where 20 years passed in 5 days...and also wherein we find out about him hiding away an Observer child that he will later time travel with to save the world from the Observer takeover...erasing himself from time/the timeline by doing so...there is SO much) not to mention the "one pill makes you larger/smaller" vs teen El and baby El...it's too much to try and fit in this post), "ALIENS AND LASERS", "stretch the perceived reality of the sense", "art, actors and your own mind converge to prompt MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS" (which was a common complaint about TFS: it leaves people with more questions than answers).

("See you on the other side" being an in-show line from Henry in the lab to Patty in the void, but this image is ripped directly from the same promo video that the High Existence blurb appears in.)

Here's a little taste of what ZeroSpace is like, but I suggest going to the actual page to see it in action:

It's heavily heavily reminiscent of TFS, even just in the content warnings...

Not to mention the actual show content SFX:

However, the goal of TFS isn't to stretch our senses. We're just watching. We are not the volunteer seeing the other side.

For most of the show, that person is Henry (except the first 5 mins, when it's Cptn. Brenner and his crew literally experiencing the other side). Henry is doing the experiencing. He's the one breaking the fourth wall by picking at/breaking the sets, the one running through the audience and leaving out the theater doors (only to end up right back on stage just like El in the Rainbow Room in 4.05).

With each bit of info I find out adjacent to the play, the more convinced I am that this is some secret third boy's experience in a NINA-like simulation.

Overall—

a) TFS most likely isn't wholly real, and it seems very likely that it's the same kind of simulation as NINA.

b) El was probably drugged up with some kind of empathogenic psychedelic going into NINA, likely with the goal of setting her up to form emotional connections quickly and deeply only to rip that deep connection away in order to bolster her abilities.

c) NINA is not, then, wholly based in truth. Parts of NINA (staring at the bullying from 002-005) may have been generated from El's memories of the outside world.

d) With NINA and TFS seeming so similar, I wouldn't be shocked if parts of it are just one massive empathogen trip (staring at how quickly Henry and Patty bond, similarly to how quickly Henry and El bond in NINA).

e) Whoever is in NINA with teen El is also tripping balls, most likely, and may have gone off the rails in that regard. However, that's in a simulation...hard to assign guilt or blame for things done in a fictional/unreal world.

f) Whoever was with baby El in 1979 may have been in a similar situation "moving chess pieces"-style instead. Read: drugged in order to put him in a situation where he would bolster El's latent abilities...and it went wrong (see also: Walter Bishop's orchestrated/fake massacre meant to bolster Olivia's latent abilities.)

g) Richard Brenner having been the head of narcotics makes me question which Brenner we're seeing at any given time: Martin, or Richard?

[lilllithdraagon]

PART 4: Lore and continuity breaks

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR DRAGON AGE THE VEILGUARD. READ AT OWN RISK.

Main Post Link

So yeah. Bioware put themselves in a deep ass hole with this one. I’d like to preface this section by saying that some of this is completely understandable. By the time of Veilguard, they have three games worth of world altering decisions to contend with. The flow charts for allowing for every possible world state would be completely insane. There comes a point where things get too much.

I think Veilguard was that point. Trying to fit into the narrative Fenris existing in some canon’s and him being dead in others and even another where he’s enslaved to Danarius still would be a nightmare. Especially when this is for every character from a previous game. Zevran could be dead for twenty years in one persons save file and could be running around still causing havoc in another. They didn’t want another Leliana lyrium ghost scenario. I get it.

(Lunadys) That being said I feel like Inquisition cut away a lot of the fat by retconning a lot of those options.

All of that out of the way.

Seriously.

Where are Solas’ agents? What did Cole mean ‘it left a scar when he burned her off his face?’

Do the Crows buy children or not?

Did Solas call all the Dalish to Arlathan or not? There was sort of a whole end credit splash-screen about a mass exodus. Just... not addressed? Gotcha.

Racism just doesn’t exist in Minrathos Docktown I guess?

We are left with so many questions. Are things being ret-conned or just not addressed? It’s enough to make our hair fall out from stress like the ancient elves do apparently.

WHY CAN YOU USE THE CRYSTAL DAGGER LIKE THAT? There’s no cutscene or explanation for you learning to use this thing. There’s no explanation beyond ‘yo this is easier for gameplay’ about why you can use other people’s abilities while they’re not THERE. No conversation with Solas, or Neve, or Emmerich, or Bellara, or Morrigan. Nothing. Just here’s your dagger. Use it well. Not even a throw away line from Harding about it.

You just take over Solas’ lighthouse? And just live there? And everyone just accepts that? From every faction? Without mistrusting the person who ended the world? Cool Cool Cool.

And so much of the lore is in massive dumps in the codex or by characters.

Thanks for the huge dialogue monologue dump of past lore and clarifications with 0 weight behind the revelations because we get it in large conversation chunks. Like wow so many answers to our burning questions, just said over coffee in the crossroads. No big reveal, no buildup.

Pacing is off. There doesn’t seem to be a clear indication of how much time is passing between any of the ‘scenes’ and as such... How does Rook have time for all these personal quests for the companions? A lot of the interactions with them are timed so you HAVE to interact. Which is all well and good but when you have literal gods destroying the world, why are you stopping for tea in the forest and shopping for groceries? It’s stilted. The tones don’t match.

Everyone just accepts that the Elvhen gods were called the Evanuris. Great. When did that happen?

And everyone believes Rook is good and Solas is evil. There isn’t a single fucking character that challenges that except for Solas himself. And who is going to heed the god of lies?

[monstersinthecosmos]

I'm so sorry you're getting hate because your take on Armand/Marius is like the only one in the entire fandom that captures all the nuance and complexity and kinkiness of the canon flavor while still keeping it realistic and psychologically grounded, so it's neither sugarcoated apologism or simplistic hate. Like you are the only person who really gets those two. Plus your fic is fucking S tier quality, so sucks to be anyone who's missing out on this good shit.

dsgasd thanks man!!!!!!!!

I'm just so sick of conservatives in VC fandom popping up to shame people for like, enjoying VC?

And I hate to say this because it's become a really obnxoious buzzword in the fandom but like iT'S GothIk FiCsHuN !!! Like fucking christ sorry for actually enjoying the ancient vampire whipping his soft mortal lover? lol Like how is it that everyone wants to go IT'S GOTHIC FICTION as a gotcha for THEIR point but like, still balk at the gothic fiction lol. Wow sorry for celebrating the monsterfucker book that Anne Rice herself said was a monsterfucker book. Maybe let's pull those Tulane quotes from Anne's journals of all the times she compares vampire/mortal to human/pet LOL. But the whole "IT'S CANNON DEAL WITH IT" pants pissing is only relevant when it's THEIR thing, and of course only within the scope of their cognitive range of what they are taking from these texts.

What kills me too is that i go so very far out of my way to cushion my meta posts and make sure to say at least 1,000 times that "you don't have to agree with me" and "it's okay if you read this another way!" because I think literature is best when it's allowed to breathe and that death of the author is a wonderful thing that allows different people with different experiences to notice different things about the exact same book. If we couldn't pull like 100 versions of the story out of the same book I think it would be a pretty fucking boring book. I even have multiple interpretations of the books. I think TVA in particular is an extremely dynamic text with many lenses to read it through.

So like, it's just really ironic to me that people in a book fandom. where we are READING and you'd think our reading comprehension would be a bit stronger, can be this rigid and solipsistic and narrow minded and entitled.

Like, speaking of the entitlement, it's like.

You know you can write your own posts, right?

And you can write your own fanfics if you don't like mine, right?

You can even commission people if you don't feel you have the skill.

But who do these dingdongs think they are and why are they so entitled to like, what the fuck I feel like posting in my own blog, and why are they so comfortable kinkshaming people and policing fiction? It's so completely insane that they're like, bullying people in fandom and pretending it's because they're the ones being bullied, like. Babe no one cares about you lol. Literally never once talked about you in that post. Mindya.

I really try not to post about this topic because I don't think it's productive and I want to curate my space to be a place where we DON'T have to be told we're sick freaks every 5 minutes--I think even when people are arguing AGAINST it, the net result is putting the topic on people's dashboards, and I think we all deserve to just like enjoy the cheesy 90s book in peace without being told we're predators. BUT!!!!!!!!!!! I also am very much aware that this has become a huge issue in the fandom (specifically the Marius half of fandom) and luckily for my anon, they have my attention and today is one of those useless work days where it's a skeleton crew and I have nothing better to do so look I'm gonna go lift heavy stuff at the gym for a few hours and when I get back if I'm still laughing about this I'll maybe tackle it because I'm really sick of Marius fans being harassed by the fandom police and I want everyone to know they don't have to tolerate it.

[emphasisonthehomo]

So, buck's dick so good that makes Tommy an all star player?🤭🤣

Love that piece! As I am an amateur hockey fan, I really like this snippet!

Is there Christopher somewhere? Bc he is getting three dads for one.

Also, how do you think the buddietommy will get together ? Or there will be endless pining from the Eddie side?

How did buck and Tommy get together? Also, is Tommy trans in this one too?

The headlines about this relationship have the potential to be hilarious.

Post In Question

Lol, there is definitely more than just Buck's dick involved, so strap in because I'm gonna get into detail for how Tommy's last NHL season becomes his career best.

(And also answer your other questions.)

(Also also this got long.)

First I should mention why Tommy hasn't been an All Star before. It's a numbers game. The NHL selects far fewer goalies for the All Stars than they do other positions. Tommy's also never managed to be on a team that has really serious Stanley Cup contention (he's been in the playoffs quite a few times, his career has been a long one, but always out in first or second round) so he just... hasn't ever really been considered for it. He hasn't had that special combo of popularity + skill + winning team before.

The main factor in Tommy actually becoming an All Star Goaltender is, unfortunately, the rookie getting injured. Tommy's ancient and decrepit by NHL standards (38? 39? practically a crypt keeper) his knees and hips are garbage and everything hurts all the time. He's always been a Good Goalie, c'mon he does this professionally, but he hasn't been a starting goalie in a while. Just getting the opportunity to start, an opportunity he wouldn't have otherwise, is a huge leg up.

He didn't sign w/ the team (LA Kings?🤮) to be a starting goalie, and everyone knows it. Spittin' Chiclets has made comments along the lines of 'wow, Kinard is still playing?' He's there to be a reliable backup, to offer some quality mentorship to the rookie, and to have something to do in his last season before he announces retirement. But then the rookie gets injured way early in the season. I'm talking like game 4 or something. Tommy steps in and steps up. No one, least of all him, expects things to go where they do.

It's a dramatic mid game switch. They're on the road. Someone on the opposing team falls onto the rookie mid butterfly and the kid gets stretchered off. It's bad. So Tommy heads out to the net, it's his first time in goal for a game since the pre-season. He's nervous, of course he's nervous. But more than that he's determined.

Mentality contributes to any position, but it's got more of an influence on goal tending. Tommy's got nothing to lose at this point, but also crucial (for him anyway) nothing to win. In his head he's not going to be a starting goalie again, the team probably won't be a serious contender for The Cup. All he has to do is play and play well. He's gotta make sure that when the rookie does return from IR, it's not to a metaphorical dumpster fire.

Now Tommy's been playing professionally/semi-professionally for a long time. Almost 20 years. He's been in goal since he was a kid. This is what he does, this is what he's good at. His career has had some ups and downs, but he's older now. He likes to think he's wiser. This is his last season, he made that decision months ago. He wants to end his career with dignity. Going out with a bang isn't on his mind, but he knows he doesn't want to go out with a whimper.

And then he fucking shuts the door.

He shuts the fucking door, and because of that they manage to come up from a 0-2 deficit to win 3-2. As the buzzer sounds both Buck and Eddie are right there, slamming into him for the triumphant post win hug. It's not a shutout, not technically. But it's a shutout for him, and he's pretty damn happy with it.

The next game though. The next game another (even younger) kid is brought up from the feeder team as backup. Tommy gets a proper shutout, and that's when coaching starts to think seriously about how they want to do things. Tommy winds up starting in goal for the rest of the road trip. And then after the team gets home and it becomes clear that their injured rookie will be out for months, Tommy gets the green light to start in general.

It's an opportunity he never thought he'd have again, and because of that Tommy fucking locks in. Spittin' Chiclets is stunned and in awe. What are the odds? He's playing good hockey in a way he hasn't since he was 32. Unlike the last time he was on fire like this, their team is also humming along. And unlike last time there's a story. The NHL loves a story. Veteran goaltender playing some of his best hockey in what everyone assumed would be his last year is a good story.

And it's also because of that, because it's his last season and he's decided to fucking go for it, Tommy decides to also do something monumentally stupid and kiss a teammate. He's spent his entire career in the closet. When he was a rookie he wouldn't even look at other men during the season, much less hookup. As he got older he did slowly come out of his shell, but he was still very careful about it.

One night in November Evan Buckley is gushing about the (frankly insane) scorpion save Tommy managed in the second period. And Tommy's looking at him and thinking "huh" before stepping in close. Evan's gaze snaps down to Tommy's mouth like it's been magnetized, and Tommy decides "fuck it" and goes for the kiss. That kiss leads to a lot more than just kissing.

And so Tommy winds up with career high statistics in his last season. He's confident in himself in a way he never has been before, settled in a way he never thought he would be, and he's deliriously happy with his secret boyfriend. Completely ignorant of the fact that his friend Eddie Diaz is spiraling because of said secret boyfriend.

He gets selected for All Stars for the first time, and is flummoxed because he'd made plans to go be on a beach somewhere like he does every year, and now he has to cancel that.

AS FOR CHRISTOPHER!

Yes, he's around. Eddie is almost neurotic in his attempts to keep Chris out of the media. The team PR kind of hates it, because "NHL Player with Special Needs Son" is frankly clickbait catnip. But they also can't force Eddie to do anything, and Eddie has made it clear he'll put his foot down about it. Eddie's marriage imploded dramatically in the news, and Shannon is MIA (but alive, because I said so) and he's got full custody. The only time Chris is ever on camera is when there's a family skate for a fucking Winter Classic or something, and he's in the background with Buck and Eddie helping him stay vertical on the ice.

There is quite a bit of pining on Eddie's part. He loves Buck. Buck has been his best friend (and sometimes lover) for years. He likes Tommy a lot too. Their friendship took off like a rocket, and Eddie's already at the point where he can't imagine Tommy not being in his house with him and Buck. Tommy grills a mean steak. Tommy is terrible at video games and will good naturedly let Eddie, Chris, and Buck destroy him at Mario Cart over and over again.

It hurts like pressing a bruise. Buck and Tommy are clearly so happy together. Eddie can't stop thinking about it. He wonders why this is different. Why Buck decided to go for something serious with Tommy instead of Eddie, when Eddie's been here the whole time. Simultaneously, Eddie wonders what Tommy saw in Buck that he didn't see in Eddie. It seems like when they hang out, it's always the three of them. He has very complicated feelings about the fact that he wants to kiss them both.

At the same time, this all feels secondary to what's happening on ice. During the pre-season all of the talking heads spoke about their team like they'd probably maybe be playoff hopefuls next season. Now everyone is abuzz because they've got a Very Good Chance of being playoff hopefuls now. Eddie doesn't have time for a crisis, because there's hockey to be played.

Because this is a fic, they get together after winning The Stanley Cup. Of course.

Tommy's not in net for all of the playoffs (his knees hurt so bad) but he's in net for A Lot of it. He's in net when the buzzer sounds on game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals. They've squeaked a win 4-3. It was down to the wire. Buck slams into him as soon as the clock winds down to zero, and Tommy sobs openly into the stinky sweaty fabric of Buck's jersey. Eddie is right there, pressing a cartoonish and smacking kiss to the top of Tommy's helmet.

In the champagne fueled blur of a celebration, they all wind up falling into bed together. It's basically all frotting, they're too drunk for anything more coordinated. And then have the most awkward discussion the next morning when they're a combination of brutally hungover (Tommy) still drunk from the night before (Eddie) and somehow??? sobered up??? (Buck)

You should assume Tommy is trans in everything I write. My little lizard brain wants Tommy to also be trans for this, because that's just how my mind works. The logistics of it are complicated. Either this is an au where the NHL is way cooler with stuff than they are IRL, or Tommy has just been closeted the whole time, which is practically impossible. Either way this is a tangled mess of masculinity and sexuality and gender. Delicious.

Anyways. Tommy announces his retirement with a picture of him holding the cup. And then goes to Eddie's house to kiss his boyfriends hello and help Buck make a lasagna, while Eddie works with Chris on his homework.

I think if they were to come out as a cute little throuple, it would happen after all three of them retire.

[crystalelemental]

We have finished the Dungeon Meshi anime. I'll type out thoughts, but I feel like I can easily summarize as "It's really good, you should watch it." I was also asked to talk about favorite characters so like. Get ready for that one.

As a whole, Dungeon Meshi is excellent. My wife has an anecdote she likes to tell about it, where before we even watched it, I told her about the general premise and that people were talking about it and it sounded neat and I wanted to pick it up if she'd like to watch. And as happens sometimes, I get the response of "I'll probably look at my phone and just watch it in the background," which is usually "I'm not too interested but put on what you want to put on." And after the first episode she was completely invested. The show is really charming really fast.

Thing is, for as fun adventure as it starts, it does a lot seriously that lands spectacularly well. The first instance of "oh wow, this show is for real" is the well-documented living armor bit. The biology that goes into these monsters is amazing. My personal favorite is still the treasure bugs and mimics interaction, which is just incredible to me, but every time they talk about monster biology and their function it's a treat.

Exploration stuff is also really cool. There's another great post that went around talking about how this party really is more of an old-school dungeon crawler party, where skills for survival like Chilchuck's are essentially the most valuable, rather than combat ability. It does really have that feel, and it's great. I also just love how some of the magic works. Things like mana sickness are cool, but resurrection is my personal favorite. They make a big deal about the black magic kind being forbidden, but watching it in action, it functions just like the stuff that's on the level; blood pools and congeals back in the body, the black magic just involved reconstructing flesh. Marcille's point about black magic not being inherently bad is fair; it doesn't seem all that different. But perceptions are really different regarding it.

They haven't delved too far into it yet, but there are tensions between the fantasy races, and plenty of biases going around. Some are a bit more obvious, like Marcille really not trusting the orcs, while others are more like Shuro's one party member who just refers to the dwarves as just "dwarf," even as she's praising Senshi's cooking. Kabru's got his own hangups regarding how the elves handle things with the dungeons, and openly admits to the imbalance in power between races and how that negatively impacts everyone. I imagine this starts to be more prominent in the second half now that all the establishing stuff is done.

As for cast...they're really strong. Laios' group is all great, I loved them all. Marcille is my favorite, personally, because of course she is. From silly magic elf girl, to oh she's actually super smart, to oh she's super smart in ancient criminal magic fuck yeah girl. Marcille's a delight. Chilchuck was the easy least favorite of the group starting out, but he's really grown on me. Izutsumi is peak cat. Laios is really interesting as a protagonist, I like him a lot. I think the conflicts he gets into are...very real, in a way. Like, he has amazing strengths that make him great at what he's doing, but the flaws in his character inform what struggles they encounter in a really believable way. I like him a lot. Senshi is cool. Falin needs more time, and you have no idea how bummed I am that the season ended with a little snapshot that Chimera Falin and Thistle are having hijinks off-screen, I need that spinoff.

The other groups are less developed, but I'm sure Aera will be happy to hear this: god damn do I love Kabru. This dude rules. I saw people talk about him on Tumblr so I recognized him the instant he showed up, but his first "proper" introduction is stupendous, showing his general people-reading and ability to gather information, and his adherence to a sense of justice that's just as much about meting out punishment as anything else. Him killing those dudes was great, loved that. And the barely concealed excitement over black magic is hilarious. Then he gets to show off that he's basically an assassin class, knowing where to strike for instant kills, has a whole chat with Shuro about recognizing the racial discrepancy in the world at large, and tries to play an entire room full of elves. I dunno, like the guy a lot. He's shrewd, and he's got moxie. I do admit that, while I get the fandom is really attached to Laios and Kabru as a ship, I...have no strong feelings about it. I do, oddly, like him and Rin. Their dynamic in the show was fairly cute, and admittedly some supplemental material I saw posted really got me invested in her. The rest of his party...I have no particular feelings about. It's just him and Rin to me for now.

Shuro's party is even less interesting. I do like Shuro, I think he's a really neat character. But his group hasn't done anything all that interesting to me yet. They kinda showed up to get bodied by Chimera Falin and drive tension as the group that first knows about black magic.

Similar deal with Namari's group? If anything I think the old gnome dude is in the running for general least favorite character. I don't hate the guy, but he's done nothing to endear himself. I have no strong perspectives yet.

For characters that need more time in the oven, there is the question of the Canaries. I've seen a tidbit about them, but my general assumption of them is the whole "Canary in the coalmine," they're the frontliners for dungeons that are sent in and risk death to assess the threat level. Which is neat, would like to know what that deal is. But #1 most invested in learning more about is Thistle. Love that design, love the general vibe he puts out, but also the reveal that he was hired as the court jester who happened to also become the most powerful mage of the kingdom is really, really good. That's both hilarious and awesome. I don't even know this guy and I think he's the shit.

I am wildly invested in season 2, and if it weren't for me working for a school and going through summer months unpaid, I'd probably be buying the entire manga like right now. As it stands I'll have to wait a bit for that, but it's probably happening. I've seen plenty of commentary about things the anime couldn't fit in that are hilarious or interesting, and it feels like one I'd like to read as well, even if I plan to fully go through the anime. Huge fan, glad we got an immediate announcement of season 2, really looking forward to more.

[comicaurora]

there's a tl;dr at the end if you're a coward who's too scared to read my glorious essay

wassup my name is destruktow i got in an argument with tumblr user flishthedragon (over discord) on the topic of aurora being an isekai (we were watching anime (they made me watch serial experiment lain (it was decent but i am too stupid for it)) and i brought up isekai) and i am convinced you bastards in the notes of when they posted my ramblings have no clue what an isekai is because an isekai is not defined by said isekai guy previously existing in the "real" world (despite that making up the majority of isekai stories) and let me tell you that i Have Not read past like the big robot thing (despite tumblr user flishthedragon being very adamant that i do so) so i have no clue if this still holds up to canon but as of right now we have no confirmation as to where jeffrey (canon name kendal i think but i call him jeffrey due to him looking like a jeffrey) originated from outside of "yeah jeffrey is like. this dude's empty body becoming sentient" which is bullshit so even by the bad definition everyone in the notes was pushing it's still not confirmed to not be an isekai and

*i pause to take a breath. as i breathe, you glance at my shirt. it has an image of popular comic strip character Garfield along with his adopted sibling/punching bag Odie and sugar daddy Jon Arbuckle. you appreciate said shirt*

also is space jam an isekai? it's absolutely an isekai dude lmao i love space jam that movie's great

okay back on topic so isekai originates from ancient japanese literature such as the story of Urashima Tarō, fisherman guy who saved a turtle and got to go to fishland for a week (my apologies to the urashima tarō fans out there my only exposure to this man is that they put him in battle cats and that was pretty cool, he's a decent black/angel tank that manages to not be outclassed by ramen and nono) and holy shit look at that you don't have to die to be isekai (no one was saying this but at least two of you were thinking it don't lie) and while reincarnation stories are not inherently isekai they can be viewed as isekai stories in certain contexts and those stay in the same world that's crazy

omniscient reader is also an isekai btw (if you finish it it's actually not but if you don't read like 500 chapters you can't prove me wrong and if you do i get someone to talk to about omniscient reader)

so obviously jeffrey exists (was summoned (technically)) for the purposes of getting vaush (that's not his name but it sounds like vaush and i used to be a vaush fan so we're going with it)'s soul back (has a goal given to him by a god) and he gets a companion (whether she is hot or not may depend on your taste and/or sexuality. me personally she is not hot) and he has big fucked up powers (real) BUT he keeps the memories of the previous host! wow! but screw you that's also an isekai thing i'm reading trash of the count's family and it does that (you suck stop typing stop trying to disprove me it won't work) and his existence prior, as i have mentioned, is disputable (he may or may not have existed. retaining your memories from previous life is not necessary) and his journey is fucking identical to various other isekai franchises you learn how shit works alongside him that's how isekai works you doubters in the notes

tl;dr: you can't prove it's not an isekai (author please do not confirm/deny it becomes much less funny if you do so) and it's infinitely easier to think of it as a typical isekai with all the isekai tropes so gg ez i win

[specialagentartemis]

#wait is there something wrong with the history hates lovers song? I read the linked post and now I'm worried D: (via @gardenofarson)

I thought I explained pretty straightforwardly in the linked post why I hate the "History Hates Lovers" song: It takes the explicit stance that you, ordinary citizen of the world with no special training, are actually smarter than the experts by virtue of being gay.  It assumes that historians are all old ivory-tower eggheads and homophobic clueless idiots and only they, youtube user Oublaire, know the REAL truth. It's smugly anti-intellectual in a meme way, rather than historically curious in any serious way. "Too afraid to call it what it is / It doesn't take a scholar to understand this" like oh Come On.

Other reasons I hate it:

"Who's gonna tell us the stories, that our textbooks don't?" Gosh I don't know, maybe Actual Historians? Believe it or not, "writing high school history textbooks" is not the sum total of what historians do. There are so many books about queer history written by queer historians out there. Aside from narratives about Stonewall, AIDS, and various worldwide rights movements in the 20th century, of which there are Lots, how about any of these books or these ones or these or this book about Sappho or these biographies of Oscar Wilde or this study of homosexuality in Ancient Greece - by a historian from the 1970s! Wow!!! Maybe historians have been thinking about this for a While! - and all the various articles written by academic historians about homosexuality in history. Untangling histories that were either treated as derogatory, hidden in shame, or ignored is important... and people are doing it. This is such a dismissal of the work that a lot of historians - especially queer historians - are doing these days!

Have you (Oublaire) ever read a biography. Even once. Historians and biographers LOVE to speculate about historical figures' sexualities. You can't get away from it. Especially when someone never married, biographers and writers looooove to speculate about the love affairs and heartbreaks they must have been having. Gay or straight. History loves lovers to the point where it's hard to find a discussion of a perpetual-bachelor-or-spinster figure that doesn't dip into trying to imagine them as Being A Lover. Yes I'm vaguing at American Bloomsbury's treatment of Thoreau (and Margaret Fuller, who she soooo wanted to be having torrid romances with both Hawthorne and Emerson) and The Fossil Hunter's insistence on imagining Mary Anning as secretly being in love with her male friend despite no evidence of this.

The haughty amatonormativity. "'Just friends' don't live like that / They don't look at each other / With love in their eyes" Deeply sorry to all Oublaire's supposed friends for learning via this song that Oublaire doesn't care about their friends, I Guess. The assumption that anyone who cares about each other has to be In Love. Fuck off.

"How many decades of hiding? Twenty-one centuries of hate Some things may not've been okay back then But it's sure all right today" This is what proves that Oublaire doesn't actually care about history. Back when? Are they implying that homophobia was invented with the birth of Christ? Was history just the same for 2,100 years, until a switch flipped in the 21st cenntury and now everyone is chill with gay people? What a narrow-sighted reduction! "It's a rhetorical flourish" well I hate it anyway. Get better rhetorical flourishes.

People who really like the song keep applying it to Achilles and Patroclus, who are, notably, fictional characters, and not historical figures.

The scansion and rhymes are terrible.

[haljathefangirlcat]

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “Beowulf” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

literal years later, when I least expected it: dude I swear I just saw Cain's spawn lurking in the fens

My buddy the narrator pacing: Hrothulf is plotting against his uncle

The thing about Beowulf is... I never quite got the hype about it. (Yes, we're not Supposed to use words like "hype" about world literature Classics, especially from ancient times, or to make light of them in general. Shut up and contemplate the fact that social media posts expressing nothing more than personal opinions and feelings aren't generally meant to be the same thing as academic work to be shared between academians in an academic context.) Ofc, I understood its historical value, including in terms of linguistics and philology. But in terms of "would I pick this as reading material to obsess and fall into a research hole over"? Despite trying a few times, I never quite got past ALL the references to God every other line. ("Snorri was an Evil Zealot who set out to knowingly and purposefully Christianize Norse mythology For The Evulz" crowd, I will tattoo each and every single one of those all over your body so you can't look into a mirror without accidentally reading one ever again.) The apparently disjointed "Beowulf fights Grendel and then Grendel's mother in Denmark. Years later, after going back to Sweden and becoming king, he also fights a dragon but this time he dies" narrative didn't really appeal to me, either. Nor did the presence of (afaik) exactly one (1) named female character. (Wealhtheow, babe, in hindsight I'm so sorry.)

I'm not sure what changed, exactly. It's just that, some time ago, I finally got around to reading Grendel by John Gardner, and I loved it and thought "wow, this would have made me either bawl my eyes out or stare off into space for like five-to-ten minutes after finishing it, had I read it as a teen." And after that, I found myself thinking "well, now I should probably get to know know the original story," and finally picking up my copy of Tolkien's translation of Beowulf, and realzing there actually was a lot going on in the story, and getting way too engaged in the looming "Hrothulf kills Hrothgar's kids" subplot that doesn't even really resurface in any later material about Hrolf Kraki (though those aren't exactly free from fucked-up family dynamics, either...), and going "!!! Volsungar mention!!!!" at the bit about Sigemund and Fitela despite already knowing about the Sigemund and Fitela bit and the whole "who actually killed the dragon first/in which tradition" question, and losing my mind at the bit about Hama and the "necklace of the Brosings" and "Eormanaric's hate" because, yeah, I already knew about that one, too, kind of, but recently I've gone into a little bit of a Brisingamen deep-dive, and a while ago I read a really interesting commentary and translation of the Hildebrandslied that had quite a lot to say not just about the specific hatred/enmity of a powerful king for an adventurous hero but also about the shift from Odoacher to Ermanric as Dietrich' von Bern's enemy, which ofc (?) got me thinking about Eormanaric/Ermanric/Jormunrek's apparent widespread reputation for being an asshole, something there probably has to be some accessible paper in English about somewhere out there...

Ahem. Anyway, I also found myself alternating reading Tolkien's translation with watching Grendel Grendel Grendel, the weird and very simplified and toned down but still somehow very enjoyable and sad kids' movie adaptation of Gardner's Grendel. And Beowulf & Grendel, the one without any magic where Grendel's a traumatized Neanderthal on a quest of vengeance that's somehow also quite a good watch despite the wonky editing, the cast and crew being possibly cursed by the Norse gods, and ofc, the time-displaced Neanderthals. And Animated Epics: Beowulf, which I might have actually watched once as a child, thinking about it. And Simon Roper and Jackson Crawford's read-along, featuring interesting linguistic, literary, and historical notes as well as Australian!Hrothgar, Beowulf making it exceedingly clear that "some of my best friends are Danes!", and some unforgettable exchanges such as "I used to tell my students the story about that time I almost drove off a cliff when they were worried about their exams to make them undestand that I, too, had experienced the fear of death :|" "I'm glad you didn't perish :)" "Thanks. :|" (I'm on the Fits 8-11 video, btw. Even if, when it comes to Tolkien's translation, I'm already at the part where Beowulf says goodbye to Hrothgar and sails back to the land of the Geats. Look, I remebered thos videos existed somewhat belatedly.)

I think eventually I might also end up rewatching The 13th Warrior (which I'm gonna go out on a limb and say might be the true origin of the ahistorical Neanderthals in Beowulf & Gredenl, but I remember liking that one, too). And Outlander (my beloved "aliens crash-land in Viking Age Scandinavia and fight each other while being Sad & Tragic in their own ways" one, not the Scottish one) but specifically as a Beowulf reimagining this time around (rather than as "the movie that could have totally had the Brooding Hero, Fiery But Sweet Warrior Woman, and Hotheaded Rival-Turned-Friend invent modern polyamory, because that wouldn't have been weirder than having a character called Boromir" like every other time). Maybe that weird post-apocalyptic Beowulf that was the first to do the "Grendel's mom's got it goin' on" thing, too, at least if I can find that snarky review of it on Youtube again. Probably not the Uncanny CGI Desperately Trying To Be Live-Action 20O5 Beowulf where the titular hero keeps screaming "BEOWULF!!" and "I'M BEOWULF!!!" just in case the audience's intelligence levels can't be considered to be above the average rock's, and that also decided to add a foot fetish/body paint kink note to its cover of Grendel's Mom, though, unless I can find any snarky review of it. (I remember reading somewhere that the director actually hated Beowulf, as in the poem itself, and accepting the bit of info without question. The high heels-shaped feet are just one of the reasons why I wonder if anyone ever asked him if perhaps he hated women, too. At least his work supposedly contributed to the writers of Outlander being told "there's already too many Beowulf movies coming out!" and going "whatever, we're gong to do our own thing! With blackjack and hookers aliens and shieldmaidens", so I should probably thank him for that.)

Unfortunately, while I'm pretty sure I'll be able to avoid writing down a list of Adaptations I Absolutely Need To Check Out One Day Or I'll Die (i.e. Every Single I've Ever Heard About) like I did for The Nibelungs In Their Every Possible Form, all of this had the unforeseen side effect of reminding me that, even when I didn't have much if any interest in Beowulf, I used to have a bit of soft spot for Unferth. I mean, how could I not, when I imprinted on Hagen von Tronje when I was eleven-years-old? Give me a guy who knows all of The Hero's heroic deeds and still doesn't find him all that impressive from their very first meeting, and I'll just "👀" at him. Though from what I knew, this guy in particular seemed to go against his character type by becoming more friendly with the hero and lending him his ancestral sword, which seemed pretty interesting. Especially because he was apparently a fratricide, too? And you wouldn't expect a guy who killed his own brothers and got a "... and that's why you'll go to Hell!" by The Hero over it to have any kind of redemption arc/sudden reveal of hidden depths in any positive sense. And there was also that paper (which, ofc, I didn't bookmark at the time, and now I want to kick myself for that until I remember the title or at least the author...) arguing that maybe him telling off Beowulf about the swimming race was less about him as a person and more about him having a specifc role among the thanes in Heorot that included testing strangers requesting to speak with Hrothgar to figure out if they really were who they claimed to be or if they could actually live up to their reputation...

Again, I blame John Gardner, at least in part. He has a really crunchy Unferth, who definitely reawakened my interest in the character. The on in Grendel Grendel Grendel wasn't half-bad, either, though very different in some respects. But the original, too, ended up being actually so much more fun (meaning, so much more to chew on/rotate in my mind) than I could have imagined from my vague memories.

First you've got the iconic "didn't you look like a total loser against Breca, and isn't that literally all there is to know about you?" "shut up, you're drunk, a kinslayer, someone I have never heard anyone tell heroic tales about, and also, maybe if you were braver Grendel wouldn't keep eating you guys" banter, and I'm starting to realize that might be already more juicy, in terms of both Beowulf's and Unferth's characterizations and their interactions together, than I ever thought it was. Then you've got a line that sounds an awful lot like "everyone could see Grendel's severed arm hanging from the ceiling and that shut Unferth up" and seems to imply some sort of lingering bitterness on Unferth's side when Heorot is in the middle of the celebrations for Grendel's death. But then Unferth actually starts being described in much more favorable terms, almost as if the narrator were pointing out that, despite what the audience might think after his first appearance, there's a reason he's close to Hrothgar and has a good place in his hall... even if at the same time Unferth's praised for his "mighty heart" (something quite different from cowardice), wisdom, and the trust everyone in Heorot apparently has in his mind, there's actually another reference to him having had no mercy for his relatives "in the play of swords" in the past. (Fun little detail: that line comes right after one to the effect of "Hrothgar and Hrothulf were there and no betrayal had yet happened between them"...)

Until, finally, you get Beowulf preparing to go fight Grendel's mother and Unferth giving him his family's swords, Hrunting. And all kinds of entertaining things happen in relation to Hrunting.

You've got Unferth not remembering his first words to Beowulf because he was just really, really, really drunk when he said them, which seems to go well with Beowulf himself calling out his speech as a drunken boast but not with the "that shut him up" line I mentioned before. (Which leads me to wonder: was he actually too drunk to know what he was saying? Or did Beowulf give him an easy out in case he regretted it, which Unferth eventually chose to take to try and smooth things over?) You've got Unferth being "mighty of valour" yet not daring to go after Grendel's mother himself and "forfeiting glory" while giving his weapon to a "worthier" warrior, but his sword getting some lengthy praise nonetheless, to the point of being basically deemed infallible, and Beowulf not only not making any more comments on Unferth's supposed lack of bravery but calling him a man of "wide renown", praising his sword some more, vowing to succeed in his heroic feat with Hrunting or die trying, and telling Hrothgar that no matter what happens, Unferth must get it back when it's all over. And after that... you've got Hrunting utterly failing to kill or even harm Grendel's mother.

Except, that's literally the first time it ever fails at anything? And Beowulf can only kill Grendel's mother when, with the help of God, he finds a magical sword forged by giants, which implies there was no problem with it (and, by extension, with Unferth?) as the whole situation simply needed a little something extra to be dealt with?

Then, you've got Beowulf actually bringing Hrunting back, even if it wasn't much use to him when it really mattered. And praising it again, making sure to publicly clarify, while addressing Hrothgar himself, that no, it really is an excellent sword. And, after some more "the monster is dead!" celebration, Unferth himself (unambiguously "bold", now) having the sword brought over again not just to lend it Beowulf, but to gift it to him.... a weapon that is both nothing to sneeze at and, as Beowulf himself has acknowledged while praising it, a family heirloom. (From a guy who probably already has enough complicated feelings about his family without running around giving that kind of stuff away, to boot!) One Beowulf accepts once more, and gladly, already figuring it will be "a good friend in war, a power in battle" and saying absolutely nothing bad about it (the narrator goes "oh he's so gallant!" at him after that bit, which is admittedly kind of hilarious in itself, but still, imho, not really much to go on if you want to think he's not being sincere) right before he announces his intentions to sail back home.

I'm gonna be honest: I had already read most fics tagged Beowulf/Unferth on AO3 before this Beowulf binge. And now, I've gone and reread them. I've actually read the ones I'd missed the first time around, too. Not that it took me much time at all, but still. WildandWhirling has two really lovely ones. This innuendo-heavy one is a delight to read, too.

I think I might end up writing at least one more. Maybe canon!verse, if I manage not to spiral into researching Old English attitudes to homosexuality, or maybe Modern!AU, if I manage to find a good way to transliterate "sailing off to another country to slay monsters" in this century in a convincing way. Even just to have more than six works in the tag itself. But we'll see...

I suppose, in the end, the whole point of this random, almost stream-of-consciousness post (besides freeing up my head from at least some of my recent Beowulf thoughts) might have turned out to be just that, no matter who they are, fangirls will, indeed, always make them gay. (... I say, as if this was a surprise and I didn't already ship a number Nibelungenlied-and-adjacent gay ships I got into way before any of this.) It wasn't its original purpose but *shrug* I'll take it.

Then again... come on. All that talking about swords. *grin*

[practically-an-x-man]

Vestalia (Rick Flag x Eris)

Summary: After two years with June, things finally crumble for the last time. Rick finds solace in an unlikely source.

Word Count: 3000 exactly (wow)

Tags: Referenced Rick Flag x June Moone, post-breakup, pre-relationship with Eris, emotional hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, mentions of alcohol

Crossposted on AO3

____

“You know what your problem is, Flag?”

“What the fuck are you doing here.” It was too sullen to really be a question. He was hunched over the kitchen table, and in the dim half-light Eris could see the shine of tears on his cheeks. It was rare to see him cry, more than rare, and it almost made them pause. 

“She left her key. Under the doormat.” they responded, setting it down on the kitchen counter as they passed, “Stupid place to hide a key, I think. Especially if it unlocks something valuable.”

“Tch. Yeah. My shit apartment’s so worth robbing.” he muttered, shaking his head without looking up.

“I don’t mean the apartment.”

That brought his eyes to her, finally, and they flicked across her face as he pieced together what she’d said. Eris felt a shiver of… something, maybe linked to the admission itself and maybe linked to the look in Rick’s eyes. As much as he hated the sight of tears in them, the strange sort of hope that flickered at the words was even worse. 

Then he shrugged it off, and ran a hand over his face to swipe away the rest of his tears. Eris found himself relaxing, with that little reminder gone. The emotion still filled the room like a New England fog, but it was easier without the physical reminder written across his face. They couldn’t remember the last time they’d seen so much candid emotion from him. 

Perhaps it was the death of one of his military comrades. A squadmate. A close friend. Three years back. Eris didn’t remember his name, but she remembered how it had torn Rick apart. She remembered how he’d retreated, how he’d fled to bars and drunk himself stupid, and she remembered finding him there and coaxing him back. He wasn’t sure why he’d thought to reach out, to comfort him of all things, but it was enough for Rick to bounce back. 

And now here he was again. A lesser loss, a loss without true death, but it still struck him just as hard.

“So you’re here.”

“I am.” Eris agreed, still hovering vaguely by the door. She hadn’t expected this. She’d come for a celebration, a memory of an old midsummer festival, not for a brokenhearted man in an empty apartment. 

“Did you see her?”

“On the way out.”

“Did she look angry? Or upset?”

“Maybe. She’s always sort of scowling. I wasn’t paying much attention.”

“Hm.” He didn’t believe them, and he was right not to. It wasn’t quite the truth. Eris paid a lot of attention, always did, and they had indeed noticed June on her way out of the building. She’d been red-faced, clearly crying but clearly trying to restrain herself, and she’d glared at Eris as they crossed paths. 

But she figured Rick didn’t want to hear that.

“Something happened?”

“Yeah.” The word was almost a laugh, sharp and self-derisive. Eris suppressed a shiver, that ancient beast in the depths of their heart just beginning to stir. They battled it down. Not now. Not for Rick, and especially not when he was so vulnerable. He scoffed. “Something happened.”

“You have a problem, you know.”

“As she made very clear.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Fine. So what’s my problem, then? Enlighten me.”

“Your problem is…” Eris sighed, and slid into the seat beside him, “You never expect to be blindsided. You give too much of your heart away. You let someone wrap you around their little finger, and you let them use you up when they decide they’re done with you. You make friends out of your enemies but never expect the tables to turn the other way. And it gets you into trouble.”

“Look, I’m really not in the mood for this right now.” Rick huffed, “I already feel like shit, I don’t need you to-”

“But it’s one of the things I respect about you. You’ve got a hell of a conscience for someone who’s spent half his life with a gun in his hands. That’s… rare, in this world.”

He paused for a moment, then reached out and set his hand on Rick’s forearm. He couldn’t pretend he was good at this, not in the slightest. But she knew Rick would do the same for her, if he’d found her in the same position. Reciprocity wasn’t a motto Eris often lived by. They couldn’t explain it. 

“She’s just lost one of the good ones. Perhaps one of the only good ones left. She’ll never find another one like you.”

“You sound like a greeting card.” Rick muttered, clearly brushing his words aside. 

“Do they make greeting cards for things like that?”

“Maybe. I dunno.” he said, “Thanks for trying, I guess.”

Eris scoffed. 

“Goddamn it, Rick, do you really think I’m the type to just sit here coddling you for the hell of it? Why do you think I’m here?”

“Couldn’t even begin to guess. But you’re doing a fantastic job of it so far.” Sarcasm dripped off the words, and Eris could have laughed. He restrained himself.

“Fine. Want a drink?” she asked, lifting a bottle onto the table. Rick reached out to turn it, inspecting the label for a moment or two. Then he sighed. 

“Too torn up to appreciate it, I think. Waste of good whiskey.”

“I have more. It didn’t used to be so expensive,” Eris pointed out, but reached down and lifted a second item up onto the table - a six-pack of beer. “But I figured you’d say that. Pick your poison, then. My good vintage whiskey, or Budweiser.”

He reached for one of the beers, cracked it open, and took a hefty swallow. Eris, in turn, opened the whiskey and swigged it straight from the bottle. It wouldn’t do much of anything for him - the last time he’d been anywhere near drunk was back on Themyscira, with a good strong Amazonian wine - but it was a damn fine whiskey either way.

The room was silent until Rick finished his first beer. He didn’t even pause before reaching for a second one. Eris just waited there beside him. They didn’t know what they could say - the booze had really been their only play - and they worried whatever crossed their lips could end up twisting into something vicious. For once, he tried to keep the murmur of conflict quiet within him. That wouldn’t do here.

“Came outta the blue, too.” Rick muttered, as if finally voicing the thoughts that had been running through his head for a while, “Thought we were doing okay. Not… great, but okay. And that’s a lot of what relationships are, I think. Or just… how life is. You get through the okay times and the good ones come along again eventually. But I guess not. Not with her, at least.”

They’d expected him to be angry. They’d seen him angry, time after time out in the field, and they thought they’d see the same thing here. But instead he just seemed resigned to it, melancholy but resolved, so much quieter than she ever would have expected.

Maybe he’d known this was coming. Maybe he’d known for a while. There was no surprise in it, and therefore no real anger. 

Maybe that was for the best. This was the calmest Eris could possibly be, the closest he’d ever come to a comforting presence.

“She just…” Rick continued, now with low flickers of bitterness underneath the words. It still wasn’t true anger, but it was sharper than the quiet sadness from before. “She just shows up, says she’s going off to Argentina. Some… I dunno, some ancient ruins she wants to investigate. She just got back from Mexico last week, doing the same thing. And I said that, and I guess that was the wrong thing to say, because…”

He let out another deep sigh, and paused to take another long swig of beer. Eris glanced over at him, and found him brushing a hand across his eyes. She frowned. This one had hit him hard. She could see that. It needled unpleasantly at her heart.

“Because then she started talking about how I’m always gone, wrangling the Squad and all,” he finally continued, “And how ‘at least her work doesn’t put her in the literal crossfires of the world’s most dangerous people’, and how ‘you’re going to get yourself killed out there someday’, and wouldn’t that just ruin her, and before I knew it she’s saying she can’t do it anymore.”

Another pause. He finished off his second beer and nearly reached for a third. Then he paused, just long enough for Eris to offer the bottle of whiskey to him instead. Rick shook his head. His fingers drummed incessantly on the tabletop.

“And I think maybe we would’ve been alright, y’know, if I’d just left it at that. She’d go off to Argentina, study some artifacts, and then she’d come back and I’d take her out to dinner and we’d get back to making it work.” he said, “She was upset, but not… awful upset. Maybe we’da worked things out.”

“And then?”

“And then I mentioned the fucking Enchantress.” Those words tore out of him quickly, with a fresh bubble of anger - anger at himself, Eris realized, and bit her cheek to keep this new conflict from twisting within her. She couldn’t fire back. Not now. 

Rick shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with a deep scowl.

“I reminded ‘er that that was how we met, and that she was the one out in the crossfires and nearly gettin’ killed out there, and if I hadn’t been with the Squad she’d probably be dead herself, and that… that was the wrong thing to say. True, yeah, but… the wrong thing. So she’s all, ‘it wasn’t my fault, you know it wasn’t my fault, how can you even bring her up when you know how much she hurt me?’ and I’m going ‘yeah, but why’d you break the fuckin’ totem in the first place, you shoulda been careful and maybe that wouldn’t’ve happened at all’ and then she’s really pissed-off and saying it all was a mistake, we were a mistake, and to go back to that-”

He snapped his mouth abruptly and dropped his head. Eris turned his words over in his mind. He had a feeling he knew what came next. 

“Go ahead.” they said, with a calm that shocked even themself, “Keep going. I’ve heard it before.”

Rick looked over, something strange swimming in his eyes. Eris couldn’t make sense of it, but they met his gaze without blinking. Finally he nodded, though his jaw was set tight.

“She said… go back to that sadistic nightmare you spend so much time with, if you really want to fight like this.”

“Well. She’s got an awfully high opinion of me, doesn’t she?” Eris remarked, rather dryly, and tossed back another swallow of whiskey. It burned the whole way down, but it was a comfortable warmth. Rick chuckled humorlessly from beside her.

“Yeah. Apparently.” he muttered, then spared them another brief glance, “But I’m glad you’re here.”

Eris thought on that one for a long time. He knew Rick appreciated his presence out on the battlefield, even if out of nothing more than pure survivalist logic. They were a good fighter, physically and mentally resilient, and he could rely on them. And she knew Rick had a bad habit of giving away his heart. He cared too much. There were only two ways to survive on a team with supervillains, they thought - Rick’s method, to care so much that you made those alliances anyway and damned the consequences, until you had more allies than you had enemies… or not to care at all, to make no connections. And somehow Rick and his risks had survived much longer than the ones that hardened their hearts. 

But moments like these? Outside the battlefield, the alliances? Put in a place where Eris faltered and failed, where he needed comfort and all she could give him was booze and too-sharp banter, where she couldn’t be what he needed? He was still grateful for her presence?

She couldn’t say that was new. In a way, it was the opposite. This was old, by decades or centuries or millennia. It always started with words like these.

But they were here. And that was… something.

“It’s a bad day for this, you know.”

“Tell me about it.” This time Rick took the bottle when Eris passed it over to him, and took a long swig before he handed it back. Eris traced his fingers along the rim of it, trying not to think of how his lips had just occupied the same space. It must have been two hundred years since the last time they’d felt these odd little flutters. 

The last one had died in battle, of course. His body was so ruined, torn by bayonets and stamped by warhorses, that Eris could only identify him by the scraps of his many tattoos still visible on the battered flesh. He’d gotten one of them, a great sea serpent winding from his hips to his collarbone, as a means to impress her. Pain tolerance, he’d said, his willingness to be pierced by needles in the name of love. 

Love. Was that what it was? 

Either way, Eris had found the head of the sea serpent six feet away from the rest of him. Gone too early. Like all the others. And that was that.

Were they so sure they wanted to start that again? To risk devoting their heart, knowing it would all end too soon?

Eris shook her head, as if tossing away the thoughts.

“No, really. It’s… unlucky. Today marks Vestalia, the celebration of Vesta and the home. That was why I brought the whiskey. Figured we might celebrate, until I saw her leave. It’s an unlucky day for a home to break.”

“It’s been breaking for a while now.”

“I know.” 

Eris took another drag from the bottle, swishing the liquor around in his mouth before swallowing it. There was something he liked about all this, treating this rare and so-called “vintage” whiskey the way he would simple moonshine or mead. She didn’t believe in hoarding away the good times. Any time was a good enough time, they figured, and waiting for that “rainy day” to show up usually meant the rain just came and went. Rick didn’t speak.

“You pushed me aside for her, you know.” Eris found himself muttering, “You met her, and you let her wrap you around her little finger like you did with all the rest, and soon she was all you talked about. You told me I was your number one, and yet you closed me out of your home the moment she asked you to. I’d have expected that from someone else, but… I thought you were better than that.”

Rick stared at the empty beer bottles, laid out on the table in front of him. His fingers traced through beads of condensation, scattered across the scuffed wood. His lips opened and closed, finding words, but it was a while before he spoke again. 

“I didn’t realize it bothered you. I thought you didn’t care about people. Figured you’d just move on to the next war, or the next guy, or whatever it is that you do.”

To his credit, she nearly had. She’d been shocked at the weight of her own betrayal, and it had almost been enough to spur her onwards. It had been a good few years, following him by his battles and meeting up after the sun had set, sometimes drinks and sometimes more, but everything had to end. And he’d thought it might have ended with June. The emotions were too heavy, at first. 

But he liked Rick. That was the crux of it. He liked Rick, on some level or another (what level that was, he still wasn’t fully sure), and he wanted to keep him around. June or not, cast aside or not, there was only one Rick Flag in the world, and nothing to bring him back once he was gone.

“I didn’t.” Eris whispered, their voice far more rough than they expected, “I’ve always been here.”

He looked over at her, with an expression like it was the first time he’d ever really seen her. There was an intensity there, the sort of intensity they’d usually only seen while under fire, and it made something shiver deep within them.

Somehow they weren’t surprised when Rick reached out, clasped the back of their neck with one large hand and drew them closer. Eris let him. Maybe that was wrong, maybe a better person would have waited until he was in a better state of mind, sans-booze and sans-emotion, but they let him. 

He held her too tight and tasted of whiskey and beer. It was a long kiss, somehow both impassioned and strangely hollow, and Eris couldn’t help thinking of June’s lips on his in place of their own. When was the last time he’d kissed her? How fresh were those wounds?

But it was a nice kiss regardless. Eris couldn’t bring himself to care about the details. 

Except one.

“I won’t be your rebound.” he muttered, “It can be something or it can be nothing, heart or just sex, but I won’t be your rebound from June. If you want me, I need to know you want me. Not just a body in your bed.”

Rick pressed his lips together. His eyes flicked back and forth across their face, visibly sorting through his thoughts. Finally he drew back with a sigh. 

“Then I can’t. Not yet.” he decided, albeit with palpable pain, “I just… I don’t know yet. It’s still too fresh.”

“Alright. Then I’ll wait. However long I must.” they said, and stood up from their seat, “Call me when you’re ready.”

[littlesparklight]

While it's like... impossible to miss entirely otherwise in Greek myth relating things like the tragedies, reading this commentary on the Alexandros, especially in this latter part of it, being exposed to the Ancient Greek attitudes about slaves is like...

Wow this is reprehensible! :D

"They have no moderation, and are all focused on getting to eat, and will do anything to get to do that and then they will OVEREAT, too!! They're all base and prone to behaving badly (in general, and/or to get food) because they are poor."

(These attitudes expressed in fragments probably attached to Deiphobos' arguments in his agon with Hektor.)

Like man.

It's their fault they are enslaved and thus poor, and that their ability to get enough food relies on their masters? Theirs? Not their masters???

They are morally base and shitty people as a kind of people, despite that, uh, basically anyone can be enslaved (thanks to what happens to the losers in war)? They're completely different (in a negative way) from free people, who are just "better" as an inborn quality?

And then we add all the stuff you see in post-sack Trojan war relating tragedies, about how these newly enslaved women need to bear their misfortune (being slaves!!! in a society with this attitude towards slaves!!) gracefully and not make trouble, not complain too much.

Awful. Absolutely fucking reprehensible.

[luthorao3]

“Are we really doing this? Are we really slow-dancing?” - Emma Swan and Regina Mills (I know it's 2023 and this is Swanqueen but you're the one who posted Regina on your main and reawaking ancient and disgusting *feelings* so now I'm making you suffer too)

oh you fucker (respectfully). it's been so long since i've seen any actual episodes of ouat, we’re just going to take the timeline like a sheet of paper and scrunch it up into a little ball and it will make about as much sense as canon if you don’t ask any questions. <3

The mayoral manor is a quiet house.

At three storeys tall and wider still, it’s too large for its sole two occupants, although Emma likes to think she makes a difference.

More so, on those nights when she lingers too late in the afternoon helping Henry with his homework, that Regina feels the need to extend an invitation to dinner. (A world away, a whole new dimension, and Regina still can’t seem to escape the trappings of that good old storybook hospitality?) Further still, after Henry’s bedtime passes and Emma finds herself spirited away to Regina’s study, three sips into her second glass of apple cider and something old and folksy strumming from the sound system.

The first time it had happened, she’d accepted the invitation for a drink with obvious and awkward surprise.

The second, she’d been determined to take it in her stride, and even cracked a joke.

(That just about destroyed their ability to form civil conversation for a good half hour after.)

By now, she’s learned to roll with it and keep her mouth shut until Regina offers a tentative, no, placating topic of conversation – usually Henry, often the town, rarely either of their pasts, thank every well-intentioned fairytale wizard for that – to keep their silence from turning awkward. Until, of course, those topics begin to wear dangerously thin, and Regina looks at her with this kind of— longing, but that can’t be the word? Like she wouldn’t mind so much if Emma did open her big mouth and say something embarrassing, some unfunny joke, a crass quip for Regina to turn her nose up at, but then again why would she?

What could they possibly have in common, besides the absolute shit-fuckery that is their respective trauma?

So, quiet, then. With her cider in one hand and music filling in the lulls in their conversation.

Until—

“Oh, man, I love this song.”

It’s instinct, like reflex. Verbal diarrhoea. By the time Emma catches up to the words, she’s already spoken them out loud.

Regina’s surprise is expected, but not the smile that follows.

Bright like a spark from a live wire, and just as heart-stopping.

Emma watches as she stands, sets her glass down, heals clipping as she nears the stereo. A heartbeat later, the volume increases. Not by much – Henry is still sleeping above their heads, or at least roundabout up there somewhere – and Regina does not sit down again. She turns in place and observes Emma – observes her, not just looking, not a casual thing; Emma feels that glance right down to her marrow – and then steps closer.

She offers out a hand.

“Dance with me.”

Emma thinks it’s meant to be a question, but it didn’t sound like one. An offer, even. Invitation. Does she have a choice to say thank you but, holy fuck, no way, haha, not even a little bit, are you for real?

“Um,” instead, but Regina does not cower.

(Well, Emma doesn’t expect her to. She’s too many lifetimes under her belt, already, and none of them have been gentle.)

“I thought you loved this song?”

Questioning? Challenging. Emma swallows and feels her throat so dry it almost sticks itself closed. Awkward.

“Um.”

Yeah, nailed it.

Before her transformation into caveman can complete, Emma shakes herself.

“I mean,” she clears her throat, wry smirk, “why?”

Regina considers her again. “You’re not unattractive.”

“Wow,” Emma sputters, and she’s grinning like an idiot, because damn if that isn’t the worst compliment she’s ever received in her life (and, yeah, there’s some competition), but the amusement drains from her like a hole in the bottom of a bucket when Regina does not laugh back, and Emma gets the strangest suspicion, the most ridiculous gut feeling that Regina might actually be—

But, no.

Because that would be absurd.

Like something straight out of a— oh, go ahead, laugh. This is her life now, isn’t it?

Except Regina is still offering her hand, and faced with taking it or refusing, Emma’s self-preservation decides against doing anything that might piss off the woman who once earned the moniker, Evil Queen. She’s not actually expecting to make contact – skin on skin – even as her hand slides into Regina’s, but she’s warm. And soft, actually. Emma’s mind runs through her imagined ten-step skincare routine even as it’s derailing.

Regina leads her into the centre of the room.

Regina places her hands where they’re meant to be.

Regina moves the way that people move, two people, together, when they want to get much, much closer. And she smells good. Jesus, fuck, she smells amazing. Emma could have told herself that, but knowing it and experiencing it, experiencing Regina, are two very different things. One exists within the confines of her mind, where it absolutely should have stayed, and the other is a gentle cheek pressed fleetingly against her own, moving away again, returning (now with confidence, for it does not leave again), and now that she can define the two, Emma thinks she’ll lose it.

That’s what happens when people learn too much, those big and secret truths that make up the very existence of the cosmos, they lose their goddamn minds.

When she’s worked up enough courage, before the song has ran its course, Emma wets her lips and drags her thoughts from the press of Regina’s belly against her own.

(Soft. Fucking, warm. Solid.)

“Are we really doing this?” she whispers. “Are we really slow dancing?”

Amusement like a rumble in Regina’s chest, a satisfied hum of affirmation. Car’s motor, cat’s purr. Emma feels it vibrate out of her, where their bodies are connected.

“You’re certainly trying, Ms. Swan.” The familiar title might just be what does her in. That, or the obvious amusement in Regina’s voice. The heaviness of it. The assuredness of her joy. The way she doesn’t sound like this isn’t the most unlikely event to ever happen in all of Storybrooke, and— well, gestures to all of Storybrooke. “If you loosen up a little, you might even enjoy it.”

“Huh,” Emma says.

Which is better than um.

The song ends. Another begins. Sure, the music fits, so Emma supposes it’s kind of okay that they don’t stop dancing. Because that’s what they’re doing, still, and if she told anybody that this was happening they’d laugh and tell her she was lying. Or, hm, no actually they probably wouldn’t, would they, but following that line of thought is sure to ruin the moment, so Emma plugs two metaphorical fingers in her ears and lalalas herself away from it before the idea of how obvious her crush – infatuation? – is can take root.

(It’s not like Regina’s not the mother of her son, or anything. How is she supposed to defend herself against how goddamn fucking sexy it is to know that Regina would, and quite literally, tear several worlds to shreds for the tiny, delicate, infinitely precious human life that Emma brought into existence? So, yeah, maybe they have more things in common, after all.)

When Regina takes a breath – and it’s a large breath, a larger than necessary breath – Emma cringes in preparation for what’s to come.

It’s not what she’s expecting.

“You’re careful around me,” Regina says, quiet-like, earth-shattering.

“Yeah.”

Emma knows exactly what she means.

The eggshells she steps on, the peace she keeps, the distance she puts between them lest she ruin it simply with her presence (done that enough times, thank you, she’d rather not take the chance). She’d assumed Regina would appreciate it, given— everything. But now Regina’s looking at her like she’s lost, lost something, lost something special.

“I wouldn’t mind it if you weren’t.”

And, well.

Shit, okay.

Maybe it’s not so much for Henry’s sake that Regina invites her to all those dinners. Maybe it’s not for Henry that Regina lets her stay, well past she really should, late into the night, long after Henry has counted his last sheep goodnight, cider in her belly and music in her chest. Maybe— and just maybe, okay, hear her out— maybe Regina has actually come to enjoy her company.

The same way Emma has come to enjoy hers.

Which would be kind of—

“Perfect.”

“What?”

“I mean, okay. I won’t be.”

Regina is the first to pull back, and that’s when Emma realises they’re no longer dancing – might not have been for, well, who even knows how long, she hasn’t exactly been keeping track. Regina looks— trepidatious, now. Uncertain, now, but she does not back away. Her determination is as obvious as the lip scar that Emma tries so hard not to hyperfocus on, and so rarely succeeds.

(Have they ever been this close before? Emma thinks, maybe, and yet, how? When? Why? And, more importantly, why not sooner?)

“Really?” Regina asks, searching Emma’s face. “You do know what I’m asking, don’t you?”

Emma does not even consider taking the out, big and red and glaring and obvious as it is that Regina’s just given it to her. She does not even acknowledge it.

“I have an idea. A pretty good one, actually, yeah.”

And, pleased, Regina nods her head. “I’d love to hear it.”

So, closing the distance, Emma lets her know.

[iwoszareba]

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies? For Knave and Aqil.

Oh boy! Does Aqil have hobbies, he is endlessly curious so he sometimes tries things out or learns about something new even without the intention of maintaining it, just because he was in the mood. Wikipedia rabbit hole kind of guy.

But the things he does maintain:

he loves stories, both reading/listening and creating, big proponent of oral storytelling

he knows a couple of languages and would gladly learn more if he had the time

relating to above, while he does not write his own poetry he sometimes translates poems as an exercise, says it makes his word usage sharper (definitely translated some love poems for Sosiel :3c)

he plays simsimiyya which is a type of lyre. he was in a band while studying in Absalom and he would love to be in a band again

history!! his expertise is in Ancient Osirion but he is interested in general. ending up in Mendev was very: wow!! so much new stuff to dive into!!

he is a devout Nethysian but he is interested in other religions too. they had so much impact on history and culture of course he needs to know what they are about

he likes to cook! especially if there is someone else he can cook for, even better if they are interested in keeping him company and chatting while he is preparing food

as explained in this ask he does draw in a very symbol based way

idk if i should say magic in the hobbies section when it's the main thing he does, but not mentioning it wouldn't feel right either heh

Knave is trickier because he does so much aimless fucking around does even have time for real hobbies haha but here we go:

he likes stories too! but he does not care for complex ideas, he just likes the entertainment, bonus points for a fun plot twist and/or morbid elements

he collects oddities, like ugly art or bizarre objects, keeps them in a bag of holding like his own portable, admittedly trashy dragon hoard

he does genuinely enjoy magic, i don't think he has the attention span or inclination to properly study it but he thinks it's cool, likes using it and learns new things in fuck around and find out fashion

he did not retain skill with the instrument but he has a section of his brain dedicated to melodies, starts out as humming absentmindedly but eventually he gets more conscious about it and even learns to sing, but he does it just to do it, won't be joining anyone's band asfghh

games, preferably more chance than skill, or maybe skill games with chance as an important element. surprisingly he does not cheat at cards

he likes to watch people but unlike Arue he is here for the drama and people being nasty little shits to each other rather than anything wholesome

after he gets better mobility post full trickster he learns how to juggle and do sleight of hand tricks like a proper little clown, he is also quick on his feet and gets strength from abyssal bloodline so he enjoys brawling

is vandalism a hobby?? lmao

[eggman91]

ok so I haven’t been posting a lot sorry and work on the Mordecai voodoo au is slow because work and me getting back into asoiaf and getting on that Jamie pill(God best arc fight me) so here helluva my random opinions and ideas on boss/ hazbin hotel

helluva boss

so yeah the pilot was good and the show was a mix of man I like the ideas and characters /man I’m very disappointed and not laughing

Like there some direction they took they made it to quickly into serious stuff a should keep comedy for like 2 seasons or something like my biggest things was

Stolas like i don’t if I get crucified now but keep more evil looking or like he was In the pilot this castist aristocratic, bird prick who didn’t really care for biltzo but over time fell for him and stuff. (Or just make him a fallen I would like that ) but the funny good dad Stolas is nice too

Stella ok,I mean I understand it fine to have a villain who doesn’t need a reason to be evil they just like hell I do that and they definitely exist in but I like Stella design and form the second episode it was more interesting to me if Stella and Stolas wasn’t in a good marriage but like they didn’t hate eachother like arranged and stuff but they both love Octavia like when I first watch the episode i thought (all in my head and I know it was canon) like she was promise to Stolas arranged marriage so imagine getting married to this ancient demon one of the fallen… but im actully ok how she is in the show right now

Ok random take but Beelzebub I really like that episode (all the hellhounds 😊) and her design but really that Beelzebub ? The sin of gluttony the fly really? Like yeah the embodiment of gluttony doesn’t need to fat and stuff but like ok but why make her into sparkledog but like the idea I had like that just a front (oh no she doing dogface )like to get people to party and indulge and bee was better then a fly but I didn’t think she was a villain she didn’t really care for hellhounds and stuff but she trying to do better because she genuinely love vortex there art by drunk ferret that I really like

(Also I wish there was more overweight hellhounds at the party i admit that )

as for the imps meh they fine as they are moxxie x Mille is best ship

so that was my helluva boss opinions (wow so original I bet he a Stella Stan) and now the hazbin hotel

I actually like it more helluva boss and stuff like I thought I dislike Alsator but no I like him like there was so many opinions, and what people thought it was going to happen in the show and I did have that too I meant and I finally watch it and well yeah meh but I was pleasantly surprised at times

(said for the whole val thing what the fuck viz I know hell and shit but fuck) yeah but Charlie and vaggie best ship fight me and nifty is best little gremlin and I like Lucifer but yeah he too goofy for the prince of darkness but I like him too and more then anything was a very emotional and etc but there one thing

god if he show up I hope they won’t make Jesus a bad guy or a hypocrite like Adam and stuff like dude Jesus died for our sins and etc but like I hope he give Charlie hope not everybody deserves to be in hell but a lot do but like,Jesus did descend into hell to save the righteous and Adam and Eve 1 Peter:4:6 acts 2:27-37 and revelation 1:7 but yeah I’m a degenerate but I still stand by Jesus (also I hope they don’t make him dress like the rest of heaven like you get and see what they all wearing and you see this dark skinned dirty white robe and red Jesus)

Yeah this was a random post I made when I woke up randomly

[unpleasant-ghoul]

Found myself reading Vol'jin: Shadows of the Horde today. Realized that that's it, I'm in deep, I'm reading a motherfucking WARCRAFT BOOK, so might as well...

So after a bit of searching found a private server that seemed agreeable (BFA, 1x rates available) and yep. That's it, I'm in modern WoW instead of pretending nothing beyond WotLK exists.

So far I'm loving it. Trolls look goooood here (Well, they always do. But now they look the high-polygon kind of good).

Still made the same char as my main in WotLK, though - class, color, face, hair... Even name (it wasn't taken, lucky me. Pity same was not the case for my warlock's name - gonna have to make a separate one once I can think of something)! Here he is, in all his low-level, still-basic-armor glory.

...

Okay, so, you see the beginning. And now onto the other shit. That being bugs of that specific server (lots and lots AND LOTS), opinions on stuff, and an occasional rant.

The first thing I've found was with the "the ancient enemy" quest. Vol'jin, buddy, pal, my beloved leader... Not that you don't look lovely jus' standing there, but I've read how it's supposed to go and "standing there, then giving the speech, then standing in the statue, then fucking leaving" as I slowly, sloooowly chip away at that Sea B... Err, Witch's health for 15 minutes straight is NOT it. No, the fact that the quest is considered already done while she's still very much alive does not improve things. I may be a filthy pirate, but I'm a proper player, too. I want to DO quests.

And not that I don't love your voice, but that post-quest voice line? Got it from the first time just fine. No need to repeat it until I relog.

...

Another thing is the Spirit healer of the Darkspear Isle's graveyard. Look, girl. I'm glad you're friends (or more. Not judgin') with your colleague at Sen'jin Village's graveyard, but maybe visit her when off duty? Not fun to run all the way there for a rez.

...

That next one I should have discovered earlier, but oh, well. So that moment when you talk to that troll with the raptors and get a ride to where you're supposed to fight nagas. Heh. Not that I don't appreciate an early taste of riding a flying mount, but I prefer my raptors to be running, not flying through the air sideways. Ending up dropped off where I'm supposed to rather than amidst a bunch of very much HUMAN (no tails or scales or anything) enemies would have also been nice.

...

And speaking of rides. Raider Jhash, whether you like it or not, Master Gadrin says you're supposed to give me a ride to Razor Hill. So, maybe less "you're annoying my dog", more wolf-riding? Eh? What, not even a non-working option for that? FINE, I'll walk. Asshole.

...

The shaman says that he'll tell me a story. Tells nothing. Guess I'll have to think on my own. Lucky him that I need no tale to disagree with Garrosh: never liked that guy in the first place.

...

Sorry, guys-that-maybe-drowned, can't save ya. Can't FIND ya. Because I'm supposed to use the spyglass at the top of the watchtower, but apparently the top is not the top, since it just doesn't work. Look, I tried. Not my fault.

...

Sorry, Zen'Taji, those plainstriders ain't getting saved. No self-preservation, they'd rather die than run.

...

Aww, one escort quest that has a chance to be fun, and it's not working. No caravan defence for me! I guess at this point it can be safely assumed that any "take quest, talk to the NPC for the next part" types are broken here. Pity.

...

Echeyakee, what the fuck are you doing? Are you pretending to be a druid? Are you evolving? No, seriously, what's up with that staff in your paw?

...

No Captain Longshore fo' me (because, again "talk to the NPC to continue), and no checking the caravan wreckage either (because... just because. Nothing happens.). If it wasn't my only option for BFA, I'd leave already.

...

I have found it. The shining, flawless gemstone of my bug collestion.

Behold:

You get it, yes? No? This fella here, I'm supposed to kill him. For a quest. Kill a bunch of centaurs, he appears, you kill him. And he even appeared fine!

But allied to the Horde. To Orgrimmar.

He had slain the remaining centaurs himself and I can't do shit to him because, well. I'm a troll, very much a Horde member even if the way it is now is not exactly the way I like to see it, and he's apparently on my side now. Had to abandon the quest.

...

Made a goblin since with those graphics I CAN, for once, take the gobs seriously.

Of course I've found another glitch there!

Now, the quests, so far, work fine (then again. None were of the variation that tends not to work on this server). But there's two things.

I am pretty. Fucking. Sure. That the spotlight is not supposed to be permanently attached to the car and remain where you have dismounted form it until you use the key again. Seriously, for all the love of shiny things that the goblins possess, and for all their genius with technology, I really don't think that "light shining onto a car from the skies, all the time, following it perfectly" is something they could have done. So, pretty sure it's a bug.

The PC's companions. There's that lady among them, forgot her name. Point is, there's that ONE lady among them. And then there's the quest with pirates and suddenly there are five more following me. Same name, same looks, they're all the same gob girl. Just six of her for some reason. Lasted until I summoned the car again, since there's only enough room for one of her in it.

Oh! And I've found a third thing. near the mine, when you're on the few final quests before finally heading to Durotar, the enemies are all dead. Maybe they should be dead, maybe they shouldn't be... But they sure as fuck shouldn't be sliding on the ground as if still patrolling the territory!

...

And again to my very much non-goblin main character's encounters with the many, many bugs: that quest with the boat ride? Yeeeah, that ain't happening. No option to even talk to the guy. Sorry, whoever I had to deliver the semi-precious gems to, you're not getting them because arriving to you through any other means apparently doesn't count.

...

The Valentine's Day quest (the one with the goblin detective): broken. The orc lady wants you to see the fuck her beloved is doing, but once you're done with that and come to tell of your findings? That question mark ain't yellow.

The normal, regular, quest chain where you, on the request of another orc lady, gather fel fire and talk to the warlock, and bomb the elves, and all that: broken. No imp transformation, the towers, again, aren't towers enough to use what you have to use on them, and there's no "persuading the warlock" (or, indeed, talking to him at all outside of taking the non-working quest). Yaaay.

Also, found another misplaced Spirit Healer. Don't know which graveyard she's missing from, but the one closest to that place with the satyr and the demon portals has two.

But I'm still staying. I wanna see Zandalar for myself (with a non-Zandalari char because Talanji's fine, but I'm not here for her), and that'll take actual progression because the portal doesn't work (fine. That's meant to be. Never went there. Makes sense) and the ship doesn't either (considering my previous experience of successfully traveling via ships/zeppelins to the areas I have no busyness being in yet, that one's probably not supposed to be like that)

...

Sorry, Gurtar or whatever's your name, Draaka's not getting that flower braid. It's not that i want her to forget you, you seem like a somewhat okay orc, I'd be glad to help, it's just that the bloody flowers are NOT cooperating! They're there. They're sparkling. Interactable alright. Loot window is there. Notification in the chat about receiving said loot is there. All fine and dandy... Except for that part where they should appear in my inventory.

...

Non-bug talk again. Ranting about stuff instead. Warcraft makes me feel saaaad. On the BfA server, aside from all the bugs, I'm sad because the Horde is not MY Horde, and I only see Vol'jin alive because I'm early in the story, and I'll have to go through THAT to get to Zandalar, so sadness is unavoidable. And on my usual, fine and non-buggy (aside from pets sometimes running in place when the owner stops. Annoying when fishing. Just tap-tap-tap in the background) WotLK one I'm sad because... Well. I'm a VERY TROLL player. Sure, I got some undead. But other than that? Very Troll. Love 'em. Love my trolls, love NPC trolls. So Sen'jin Village being just that tiny thing, and the state of Echo Isles at that point of the story? Sad. Master Gadrin not having unique voice lines there yet? Sad (after hearing him in BfA I maybe got a bit obsessed? Maaaybe? I have maybe visited the Village SPECIFICALLY to click him repeatedly, like, five times already? He. Just. Sounds. So. Nice. I wanna hug him. Or draw him, which with my shit skills is not, in fact, any more possible than hugging him). Hell. Vol'jin, looking non-unique, like just another troll, young and alive and not dying any time soon? Well, now I know it won't last. So I see him like that and I'm sad because I know what's coming.

So to put it in fewer words, Playing Warcraft makes me sad, not playing Warcraft would also make me sad. It's just sadness all around.

...

But to lighten things up a tad: summoning a rat (battle pet) creates a rat (WILD, capturable battle pet). Rats function fine other than that. have it in your party, it does its thing fine. It's just trying to summon it to follow you that's bugged. Just endless wild rats. If I were less of as-lawful-as-you-can-be-while-still-pirating-shit kinda dude, I'd probably try to see how many I can make happen.

...

Still at it, because even despite all the bugs (and having a char on a perfectly working, bug-free so far, pain-free due to the timeline, MoP server) I keep having that MIGHTY NEED! Of getting to Zandalar, and dying there, and being laughed at by Bwonsamdi. And all that.

So! O miracle of miracles! A quest that requires gathering something, making something else out of it and using it on an interactable object WORKED! And another one, that required using a thing in a specific place worked, too. Pretty sure there were supposed to be visual effects of some kind, but I'll take what I can.

Too bad Blastranaar doesn't work. Because, again. It's a "talk to the NPC to proceed". Those are fucking broken here. Killing the targets manually might be possible, but likely won't count, seeing how a similar quest went when I tried it (it didn't).

...

Guys. I don't think that's how you're supposed to ride. I'm no expert, but generally the rider tends to go on top of the mount.

...

Sorry, dude, those mines are staying disarmed. They just refuse to cooperate.

...

Also, a few more things to say: 1. That bear dude (furbolg? I think they're called furbolgs) you should kill for his totem. Hoo, buy! For starters, the flag-placing counts as done as soon, as you take the quest. And all those guys you have to survive? They're already on the hill. All of them.

The bear leader himself is, too. Well, not on the hill, but near it. And once you kill him, there, of course, is the totem! That you can't pick up. Quest unfinishable!

Earlier, when you take a quest from the orc lady, a shaman I suppose, to meet some person from the Earthen Ring. Person in question is not there. The question mark is alright, but not the dude/dudette it belongs to. Quest unfinishable!

Also, pet battles. A lot of things you'll find are DEAD. As in, it's a species-wide thing, not individual critters slain by something. You want a coral snake? Lol, nope, they're all dead from the very start. Can't fight 'em, can't capture 'em. Cheetah cub? Dead. Creepy crawly? Just get a dung beetle and pretend that that's what you wanted. Gazelle fawn? Yep, sliding on the ground while dead as a fucking doornail.

Oooh, and when you have to kill That guy, Keeper whatever-his-name, started with O. The deer dude.

First of all, before you get to him. There are some orcs nearby, and some are friendly alright, as they should be. Others, though... Guys! Guuuuys! I'm a troll! Like, part of the Horde? Like you? I get it that our species are not on the best terms right now (through no fault of ours), but do you really have to attack me? Well, if anyone asks, it was self-defence.

And secondly. The Keeper himself. I understand he is supposed to be inside one of the tree-tower's rooms. Well, he ain't there!

He and his deertaur buddies decided "eh, deer, goat, both have cloven hooves, they're basically the same thing" and climbed onto. The. Fucking. Roof.

Killing him required abusing my pet's ability to phase through the walls in pursuit of prey (and he probably shouldn't be able to do that. Dude is a normal, living raptor, not a vengeful ghost of one! Though that'd be SICK) and some switching between passive/defensive mode of said pet as well as a bit of maneuvering on my part.

Definitely not how it's supposed to go.

...

A fresh bunch of bugs! And a bit more:

The cannon that I'm supposed to shoot gnome planes with doesn't work, the balloon doesn't work either (but hey! At least the ride counts as taken, so I can just arrive to the goal through other means and finish the quest!), the bomb in the spy quest is usable, but useless due to spies not being stealthed in the first place, I'm pretty sure that falling rocks are supposed to be visible, not just mysterious death outta nowhere, those warmachines don't work either, that's another quest un-doable.

Also, not bug, but daaamn! Three (three!) last places I've been to while on quests had no vendors. Guess I'll have to go elsewhere to free up some bag space. Maybe Orgrimmar - so that I can check if profession trainers got anything new and exciting for me. And maybe gonna go visit Sen'jin Village too, while I'm at it. Not for any real purpose, just to click Master Gadrin a few times. Sure, I can just listen to his voice on Wowhead, but where's the fun in that?

...

For once, glad a quest didn't work. "To be Horde" sounds like something I very much don't want to actually go through, accept-reject-go for the next that probably shouldn't be available without it, but is is juuust fine by me.

And yea, went to Orgrimmar to sell some stuff and learn some recipes, got some fresh armor (sure, I get plenty for the quests... Problem is, I like challenge, and quest ones often turn purple, while before finishing I was promised green/blue. Purple is a bit too strong for my tastes, so I mostly use what I make myself instead).

And visited Sen'jin Village. Even without actually doing that damn quest, I was still in need of lightening the mood a bit, so pestering Master Gadrin was a must.

...

Another thing:

This.

See how the pridemanes sparkle? That's because they're skinnable. But no, they didn't "die weird", ending up standing as if still alive. They ARE alive. And skinnable (or show as such. I'm not a rogue, if that raptor by my side wasn't a clue enough. I can't sneak close enough to try). They aren't the only ones, there's also wolves like that, and that one giant fish.

...

Stiiill at it. Changing of... Forgot his name. Doesn't matter. That orc Warlord in Desolation Hold. Point is, ya go to the top of the tower, because he asks you to go with him, thinking you'll help him. But you kill him.

And oh, you can kill him alright. That part works. And counts for the quest!

But the tower, as usual, is not tower enough. So killing counts, going doesn't, quest half-done and unfinishable.

But on the positive side, that quest where you blow up siege engines that look like firepowder stuffed in greasy socks? It works THE BEST! The siege engines actually fall to pieces, and there's "BOOM!" and you can't just blow up the same one over and over like you could with the tent-incinerating quest!

The sparks stay after the siege engine is gone, the ones that indicate that something can be interacted with, but it's a minor thing.

...

Silithid mounds are either not Silithid enough, or not mounds enough. What I'm saying is, I can't pour pitch on them, so I can't do the quest. Fortunately, ones running freely near Fort Triumph count just fine.

Griffins are where they're supposed to be (though they spend a lot of time standing in the sky, rather than flying), and the hook works! But there is just tiiiny little problem:

That quest requires me to kill the RIDERS.

Griffins are on their own. Unmounted. Owners nowhere to be seen. Can't do that quest, either.

So that's ALL quests in that zone undoable (at all or in the intended way). At least the silithid quest gave me my next target, so I guess in a way that was the one most important. And it means I don't have to go to Desolace yet! I have a quest for that but not really looking forvard to it. Visited it briefly on the WotLK server. I know pre- and post- Cataclysm things may be quite different, but I really don't think it became any more enjoyable.

...

!

Found a working quest! A line!

And it's a good one so far. Doesn't hurt. Just helping a guy make his dream come true. Sure, the guy is undead. And the "dream" in question is to build an abomination. But still. He's eager! He has a sense of humor! He, so far, haven't asked me to kill allies!

I mean, look at this! How can I walk past him and not help? I can't!

...

Mankrik stands, surrounded by Quillboars. The quillboars are mere animated models, just walking around, nameless, levelless, untargetable. He asks me to kill 13 Quillboars. Were I to count ones around him, the number would likely match. There are proper ones nearby, quest-marked, so I can do it. Still, a strange sight.

...

Sooo, Desolace! And that dead elf, Furien. The fact that I had to ride my very much terrestrial little raptor instead of taking Furien's Dragonhawk and flying to his sister because, as always, that kinda thing is broken? No big deal. Used to it. Expected it.

Furien's Footsteps (where you ALSO have to go on your own, because any sort of "tell the flight master, and they'll get you there" doesn't work either. You can use their services, but you can't talk to them) is where the fun REALLY starts! And ends.

Because you can't do it. Going to the places where you're supposed to go doesn't count. Doing the quests? Well, it counts for the quests themselves, but as far as Furien's Footsteps are concerned, those shrines, and statues and whatnot are still very much unvisited.

Quest undoable! I just hope it wasn't supposed to be a long line spanning the whole location and kicking me to the next with its last quest. That'd be awkward.

...

!

"The Emerging Threat" worked!

And yes, it's a big deal. It's a "speak to the NPC for the quest-important thing to happen", and until now I thought ALL of those were broken on Firestorm's BfA servers.

Sure, it didn't work from the first try.

And it didn't work well:

Two of Korrah's mounts, one for me to ride, green-named, other - yellow, just following partially clipped through "mine", both running in the air instead of flying...

Took a long time to scout those nagas like that!

But still. I was placed onto a mount, even if only on a second try, I did a circle above the naga-infested areas, I was returned to the starting point. And it counted for the quest.

That's unusual and also wonderful.

...

Guess there's no "lifting of the tired soul" for me: mounds of fertile soil aren't themselves enough to plant the Cenarion seeds.

Also, breaking the Magram spirit or whatever? Ain't happening either: the spear is already there (and wandering around), the centaurs are already there, and no matter how many I kill, it doesn't count for the quest (also, the Magram chieftain is also already there)

...

Ended up going to Feralas on my own, because there are no more quests in Desolace.

As in, ones I can do: Smeed is not interactable, so I can't give him the harnesses.

Furien's Footsteps, as I've mentioned before, can't be done because the quests at the shrines can't.

Planting seeds and dealing with the centaurs - nope, not workin'

And that one where you're supposed to take control of a demon... You get the "channeling" you get the effect, but you do NOT get the demon. he is still very much loyal to his master and won't tolerate an attack on him.

And there's nothing else. Probably supposed to be, but nope. Nada. Nothing.

So I'm walking into Feralas blind, gonna have to piece together what's up with everything there without having a starting point.

...

Decided that nothing will cheer me up better (and after losing all but three chapters of a fic I liked re-reading I did need cheering up) than being mocked by Bwonsamdi for dying.

So I went into the game with my untouched, made-him-and-left-him Zandalari priest.

Died.

No Bwonsamdi.

Ran all the way to Nazmir.

And, okay. He's there. Found him in two spots plus (obviously) in Necropolis.

Got mocked, feeling better now.

As for bugs - pretty sure he's not supposed to be carrying fishing rod EVERYWHERE. I mean, I appreciate the thing being made of bones. Great style!

But, Bwonsamdi, dear, sure you need it even when away from water? Whatcha fishin' for in necropolis?

...

Back to my main character and back to Feralas. An amazing-sounding quest about shrinking giants and, naturally, it doesn't fucking work. Pity.

Also, still not sure what's the deal with the Dragon-lady. According to her I have apparently dealt with some problem. but I didn't. Either it was a continuation of Furien's questline and therefore inaccessible, or it's just straight up missing.

...

Hmm. A variation on the trouble with wingrider masters: the option to talk to her is there, but clicking of it (or on the normal flight option) does nothing.